Life in Hueco Mundo
by greatbalancerofthecosmos
Summary: The humorous look in the Arrancars. Basic and simple but pretty funny. First story on this site I wrote nearly 24 stories in real life. Review please.
1. The Internet

**I do not own Bleach.**

One day Grimmjow was on a computer.

"Aaahhh is this what Humans call entertainment." Said, Grimmjow.

He was trying to look up the final fght be tween Ulquiorra and Ichigo,and all there was a buffering circle on the screen.

"Well wonder what happens if I search myself on Bing." Grimmjow thought.

What he saw was unbelivible. Yaoi hentai covered the page. Grimmjow sonido out of the room and trew up in the toilets. Nel (In her baby form) walked in.

" Uncle Grim Tia says I can stay here while she is in the Forest of Menos." The green haired Arrancar said

She saw that his computer was on look on the page and saw the yaoi hentai.

"Uncle Grim there is a picture of you with Uryu" she said

All she heard was the sound of the poor Arrancar puking.

"Hey look a video." Nel said

Grimmjow rushed in there and exit out of a page and saw that his video was done loading and starting playing.

"Nel forget what you saw ok" Said Grimmjow

"OK!"

**Poor Gimmjow what he saw. Nel knows what Sex is. Well that is how life is in Heuco Mundo.**


	2. The Teenager

**I do not own Bleach in any way.**

Everyone's favorite lazy ass Espada Coyote Starrk was doing his usually thing sleeping.

There was a loud boom that came from the canopy outside his palace.

There were two Arrancars fighting at full killing intent.

"WILL YOU TWO PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP" Said the Espada

One stops what he was doing and bowed in apogee while the other one talk back.

"Oh yeah what are you going to do about it Nah." said the teenage Arrancar.

"I will get Lord Aizen on you." said Coyote.

"He died remember or did you sleep though that battle having wet dreams about Master Tia Hallibel." The Teenage Arrancar said.

"Damn he is right" Coyote thought

Coyote remember the day Lord Aizen died and wondered why he did not remember such a day.

"Hey dumbass quit jerkin it to Master Hallibel and just asked her out already." said the teenage Arrancar.

"Hey the kid has a point" Coyote thought.

"Hey kid you got a point you will be spared"

"Ah dude that was awesome let's play some Red Dead Redemption."

As Coyote walk to Tia palace with a gift he took a deep breath and slowly turns the knob.

**What will happen to Starrk. Will Tia accept his gift? And where is Grimmjow in all of this. Tune in next time in Life in Hueco Mundo! YYYAAAYYY!**


	3. The Plushy

**I do not own bleach in any way.**

As Coyote Starrk was opening the door he was shocked of what he walked in at. Tia stopped at what she was doing and saw the present.

"Starrk this isn't what it looks like." Said Tia

"No it is what I see" said the sadden Espada

"YOU TOOK MY SILVER THE HEDGEHOG PLUSHY WITHOUT ASKING!" Said Coyote crying

"Ok stop crying I will explain."

While Coyote was drying his eyes Tia was explain why she the plushy.

"Ok well I found it in the meeting room and Wonderweiss wanted to play with it. So I let him come to my palace and let him play with the plushy." Explain Hallibel

"What's the gift you have?" Said the female Espada

"It is a Blaze the Cat Plushy." Coyote said with a smile on his face.

"Really I always wanted one. How did you know, and where did you get one?" asked Haillbel tearing up.

"I just knew." Said Coyote.

Grimmjow blast a hole in the wall saying.

"My Shadow plushy is better than both of yours combine!"

"GRIMMJOW WHAT THE HELL! WHY ARE YOU HERE?" Scream Haillbel

"I saw Coyote with a Blaze plushy then I knew what he was going to do so I can ruin the fun. That and Nel wanted me to come and play but mostly the first." Grimmjow said with a devil grin.

"Nel is asleep Grimmjow now let me and Tia have a moment to ourselves."

"Ok here let Nel have this Rouge plushy she wanted it ever since the Shopkeeper put it on display."

Tia examined the doll and stated

"Doesn't this seem a little inappropriate?"

"How?" said Grimmjow

"When you pull the string it says a sexy line." Explained Haillbel

"_Come at me big boy" _muttered the Rouge doll

"Ok you can give her the doll."

"YES!"

"So Tia will you accept my gift?"

"Sure"

**Yes yes yes I know my story is random that that us the why I want it to be I will actually make a Fan Fiction with a Strong Central plot soon. Review Please.**


	4. The Dish

**I do not own Bleach**

Baraggan was in he palace eating pudding and watching soap operas.

"_Rico I can't stay with you."_

"_But you can Maria."_

"_No I can't"_

"_Yes you can"_

The screen went blank.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPEN TO MY SHOW." Screamed Baraggan as he released sprit pressure.

He looked out a window and saw Szayelaporro taking his satellite dish.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DISH!"

"Gees don't get you underwear wedge up your ass. I sent the message to your computer via e-mail." the pinked hair scientist said

"Oh well I wasn't on my e-mail today." Said the elder Espada

" Well here is one of Nnoitra's hoods use it."

Baraggan turned on the TV to see that Rico and Maria were kissing in the sunset.

"Hey is that that new soap opera."

"Yes it is"

Kenpachi entered the room

"I got some chips"

**What is Kenpachi doing there? Is szayelaporro know that Grimmjow is using his Computer to look up porn? Will loly and menoly ever get a boyfriend? Tune in next time in Life in Hueco Mundo.**


	5. The Classroom

**I do not own Bleach**

"Ok time for class." Said the Arrancar teacher

"Today we will talk about the battle of Karakura Town."

"Damn this shit again" said an adolescent Arrancar

"Tell me about it." Another said with a bored tone

"Ok will the battle started with the first three Espada entered the battle field against the Gotei 13."

"What casualties were in the battle?" ask a nerdy Arrancar

"That is a good question. Let me explain nearly all the fighters in the battle suffered major injuries." The teacher said with a big smile.

"Hmm interesting"

"Yes it was I was there."

All look shocked in a stereotypical Anime fashion.

"Yes I was nothing more than just a Gillian at the time but I remember it all."

The two adolescent Arrancar did like they always do and start denying what they teacher said.

"PROVE IT BITCH!" screams one

"YEAH YOU WHORE PROVE IT!" screamed another

"Ok I will." She turns on her computer "See the Gillian with the strange mask?"

"Wow she is telling the truth." Said the nerdy Arrancar

Szayelaporro walked in the room and saw the teacher with her beautiful dark skin and her shiny shoulder length hair he blushed as he was about to speak.

"I am here to pick up my brother" he said with a slight stutter

"Oh yes you can but first explain the Battle of Karakura."

"Well our forces gather at Karakura and Lord Aizen…"

**Ok I am stopping it here what will he say next don't forget to reveiw**


	6. The Palace

**I do not own Bleach**

"Hmm" Hummed the nerdy Arrancar

"What can you see that I am using my perfect mind to fix the toaster!" screamed Szayelaporro

"All it is that the plastic piece fell off it just needs to be put back on." Said the Nerd

"Ok geez just stay quiet!"

"Plus I did not appreciate the explanation of The Battle of Karakura you gave."

"What that is how it really went" cried Szayelaporro

"You weren't even there you was too busy having sex with Aunt Nemu."

"Hey three days later we married that was when she turned into a Visored and that made a treaty between Hueco Mundo and the Soul Society, and now I have a son." He said tearing up

"But then she died right." Said the Nerd

"Yes her inner hollow took control and killed her." Szayelaporro said tearing up even more

"I remember she told you to move on." The Nerd tears up

"Well I am going to move on I think your teacher would be a good choice. How is she?"

"Umm well she is looking for a man with a powerful mind." Said the Nerd confused

"Hmm interesting well is she willing to date an Espada."

"Think so are you willing to date a teacher."

"Yes but I got one question"

"What is it?"

"How good is she in bed?"

"WHAT?!"

"I heard you have been a naughty boy with a dark skinned Arrancars." Smirked Szayelaporro

"I AM STILL A VIRGIN THE FUCK YOU TALKING ABOUT!" screamed the Nerd

"I am only just kidding."

"One time I did see her once in the shower."

"REALLY HOW WAS IT!" screamed Szayelaporro in an anime fashion

"It was GREAT her hairoin mask remains reflected the dim light perfectly. Her hair shined like the moon in the clear sky of Heuco Mundo. Her eyes sparkled like Stars in the sky, and her body it was as curvy as the sand dunes. Her Ebony skin was smooth and silky. It was amazing." Nerd said with a nosebleed.

"Mister Granz I can hear you." Said the teacher she entered in Szayelaporro's Palace.

Both of their jaws dropped.

"And when was this Mister Granz."

"Umm Um Ummm"

"Don't worry I am not going to punish you it is only natural for boys of your age to want to know more about the body. Now Lord Szayelaporro I came here to tell you about you brothers progress in class."

"Ok well…"

**Oh what now class is about to end I have to go don't blame me I still need to get a good durable flash drive. Now review this story I have wrote and yes I want to follow Szayelaporro for a while then I will go back to the other Espada. Later my bitches. **


	7. The Battle

**I do not own Bleach.**

Grimmjow was on his computer looking what any guy looks up on a computer. GRAND THEFT AUTO 5!

"Hmm seems like GTA5 will be released 9-17-13."

Nel, Tia, and Coyote walked in.

"Hey Grimmjow want to go have a snowball fight with the Shinigami?" asked Tia

"HELL YEA I WILL SHOW THOSE DAMN SHINIGAMI WHO THERE MESSING WITH! I AM KING!"

"There he goes again" said Nel

"Hey Nel keep an eye out on Grimmjow while I talk to Tia." Said Coyote

As Tia and Coyote walked outside and coyote said.

"Hey Tia you want to go out sometime."

"No we are such good friends I just don't want to ruin that."

"BOOM BITCH JUST FRIEND ZONED YO HONKIE ASS WHAT NOW MOTHHERFUCKER!" Said Zommari

"Well let's just go and have a good time." Said Tia while trying to change the subject

"Wow I never expected this." Said Coyote while holding back tears

As the entered the World of the Living they saw the same combatants' that they fought in the Battle of Karakura. This time they saw a huge snow fortress.

"Damn that is one hell of a fortress." Said Grimmjow in awe

"I wonder how built this." Coyote said.

"I have a feeling who did." Tia said while looking a Toshiro

Toshiro noticed Tia and Flash Step to her.

"I built another fortress over there." Said Toshiro

As everyone put on there Gigai's prepared for battle the Twin Arrancar Sisters Ying and Yang dressed in slutty winter Attire waved flags and stared the Battle of Karakura Part 2!

**What now I got a character friend zoned rare to find in the fan fictions I read.**


	8. The Panther's Hunt

**I do not own Bleach**

"Hey Tia I am going to shop around a bit ok."

"Ok. I will see what this captain wants."

As Grimmjow walked down the street he notices Ulquiorra and Orihime coming out from the book store.

"Hmm those two are on a date I still remember what I read from the girl's dairy." Grimmjow thought to himself.

FLASHBACK TIME!

As Grimmjow read the dairy. He saw

"I really like Ulquiorra but it seems like he doesn't even notice me. I have a plan I could. I could take him out and make him feel emotions."

Grimmjow use his cat wits to figure out that the snowball fight was also be on the same day.

FLASHBACK TIME OVER 9000!

As Grimmjow look around he saw they were going into an entertainment retailer.

When he noticed this he walked in a few seconds after them.

Then Grimmjow notice something he saw that there was a Rap after a few Battles he was declared the king of Rap by the Owner of the Store and could choose one person in the store as an opponent.

"HIM!" Grimmjow pointed at Ulquiorra

**OOOOOOHHHHHH! SHIT JUST GOT REAL!**


	9. The Akward Moment

**I do not own Bleach.**

Szayelaporro was looking for his brother's teachers address.

"Damn this is weird she lives in here."

He knocked on the door.

"The hell you doing here bitch." said Zommari

"Yes does Ms. Rureaux live here?"

"Oh Szayelaporro I am glad you are here. So how have you been?"

"Um I did not know you had a sister." said szayelappora

"Yea so what if I do." said Zommari

"Well I wanted to um."

"He wants to date me. Gees when will you quit being so protective?"

"THAT MUTTHAFUCKA CRAZY! WHY WOULD YOU GO WITH THAT PINK HAIRED BITCH!" said Zommari

Meanwhile at Szayelaporro's palace. A little baby was crying.

"ahh when will brother come back." said a nerdy Arrancar

Back to Zommari.

"BITCH WHY DON'T KNOW THAT SHE WAS MY SISTA! IMEAN WE HAVE THE SAME DAMN LAST NAME!"

"Well we never actually talk before." explained Granz

"Um Brother I think I want to help Master Granz with his Child."

"YOKAY I WILL LETS YOU STAY WID THIS CRAKA EGGHEAD! BUT I WANT ONE THING!"

"Um what is it?"

Zommmari returned to a calm voice

"Want you to stay safe., and if you need anything just call me."

**AAAWWW Just a caring brother. Read and review.**


	10. The Lemonade Stand

**I do not own Bleach**

Nel was in her child form running a lemonade stand.

"NOBODY'S COMING TO MY IEMONADE STAND BBBWWWAAAAAA!"

Then an idea pop up in her little cute head.

"I need a new appeal."

She got on top of the stand with a megaphone and screamed.

"GET YOUR NICE ICE COLD HOMEMADE LEMONADE! FRESH IS BEST!"

"AAAHHH MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!" an innocent Arrancar screamed.

"Give me that! What are you doing?" Tia screamed while yanking the megaphone out of her hands.

"Now I and Toshiro are going on a vacation. Where did you get the ice for this lemonade?" Tia asked

"By using this!" Nel hold up Hyorimaru.

"SO THAT WHERE IT WAS! DO NOT TAKE STUFF THAT IS NOT YOURS YOU LITTLE BRAT!"Toshiro screamed

"HEY YOUR NOT ANY BETTER YOUR GOING TO TAKE LORD TIA AWAY FROM ME!" screamed Nel.

"OK STOP IT YOU TO! COME ON TOSHIRO LET US GO! NEL LOOK OUT, AND KEEP THE PALACE IN ORDER!"

"Yes mam!" poof she was in her adult form.

When all the male Arrancars saw they rushed to buy Nel's Lemonade.

"WE WILL BUY YOUR LEMONADE!" they all screamed

By the end of the day Nel had 100,000 dollars in her pocket.

"Finally I can get a Cream the Rabbit Plushy! YYYAAAYYY!"

**Hmm the reason I am doing this Chapter in school is because Chapter for Life in Heuco Mundo do not need much thought now my other Fan Fictions do. I will make my other my other Fan Fictions better than what they have been. Read and Review!**


	11. The Conflict

**I do not own Bleach**

"ALL WILL KNEL BEFORE ME MWAHAHAHA!"

"Grimmjow just shut up. That is only one quest." Coyote explained.

"At least my girlfriend didn't leave me for some child. WHAT NOW BITCH!" Was Grimmjow's comeback

"At my girlfriend wasn't a child. OOOHHHH SHIT JUST GOT REAL!" Was Coyote's comeback

Nel in her adult form stop the two fighting by splashing cold lemonade on their faces.

"DAMN WHITE GIRL TAKE CONTROL NOW!" screamed Baraggan

"SHUT UP AND EAT THAT DAMN PUDDING." Coyote screamed

"Don't be mean to Baraggan!" screamed Nel at that very moment Baraggan grabbed and squeezed Nel's ass

"DON'T TOUCH ME YOU PREV!" Nel screamed while punching his head.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY GIRL YOU OLD FART!" Grimmjow screamed punching Baraggan.

"thehehehehe." Laughed Coyote

"SHUT UP!" screamed the Couple

"Sorry for the trouble. I just haven't felt the loving flesh a woman in years."

"Ah damn love is just in the air. Frist Granz and Nemu, Ulquiorra and Orihime, Tia and Toshiro, Granz and the Black Espada's, Grimmjow and Nel, and now Baraggan and the woman he wants." Coyote said with a sad face.

"Hmm what kind of woman you like?" Nel asked

"Soifon ever since I fought her I wanted her."

Meanwhile in the Soul Society Soi Fon was asleep with her stuffed black cat tight in her arms and then she heard

"Come with us Soi Fon." Whispered a familiar voice.

**Who is that voice find out I the next Life in Heuco Mundo. I hope my tech teacher doesn't find out I am doing this.**


	12. The Moment of Doing Nothing Fun

**I do not own Bleach.**

Grimmjow woke up from his little cat nap and saw a note next to him.

Dear Grimmjow,

I went to Tia's palace to get some stuff. I want you to check up on Wonderweiss. He has been so lonely lately. Oh and please don't scratch up the furniture.

Love Nel

"Geez I have to check on that bastard." Grimmjow thought to himself

Meanwhile in Tia's palace

"Wow so she did left with that Captain. Hmm she told me to look after her Palace while she is gone, and to get anything I need. Hmm maybe I could try out some clothes."

Nel found some of her old Arrancar uniforms and put one on.

"Oh I forgot how comfortable these things were. Hmm" Nel said when a devil grin hit her face.

Back to Grimmjow

"Hey kid I came to check up on you."

"WAH"

"Ok? I will be back in 30 minutes."

Back to Nel

"Ugh! What else can I do? Uh what is this?" she screamed when she pulled out a book.

"Arrancar Scrapbook. Let me look in this. Uh I did not know Grimmjow was a cat. I now something that will cheer him up." Nel ran back to Grimmjow's palace

"Hey Grim heck out what I found!" Nel was holding up some tea

"Uh ok I will take a sip." Grimmjw said while taking a drink of the tea.

"What the fuck you put in this tea?" Grimmjow said while getting high

"CATNIP! So how do you like it?" Nel asked

"It is very trippy." Grimmjow said while sat in his couch.

**Hmm next Chapter you will find out what happens next to the poor Espada. Great Balancer of the Cosmos out!**


End file.
